#Relatable

What makes us helpful humans to one another is lived experience. That is what is relatable. Yes, I majored in Psychology for my Bachelor of Arts and went on to earn my Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, but that’s not what helps me connect to another person or help them feel witnessed, even for a brief moment, when they sit across from me. The relatable piece, what transformed me, molded me, and recreated me over and over again was all the sh*t that happened behind the scenes along the way.

In a session with one of my client’s I joked, “there’s not a lot that I can’t, in one way or another, relate to because I’ve done a lot sh*t.”

I’ve been in an extremely abusive relationship with my “high school sweetheart” that I just couldn’t seem to leave no matter how awful I knew the relationship and he was, I tried to “play the field” and have sex with whoever I wanted with no attachments right after to get back at him – only to get back at myself and see myself as a sexual object rather than a person, I’ve been sexually assaulted by someone I considered one of my best friend’s (and sadly other occasions than just that one) and tried to save the friendship despite the shame and guilt I felt, I’ve been catfished (and I mean like show worthy, catfished), I tried the whole “no strings attached” FWB, I stayed in a relationship I was so unfulfilled by, but they treated me better than my abusive ex, so I thought, “well, they’re treating me decently, that should be enough, right?,”  I’ve dated men, women, people who are non-binary, almost got engaged, had my first sexual experience with a woman while I lived in Kansas and was raised German Catholic, identified as queer in a heterosexual-ish relationship, I went back to a relationship that I swore up and down I would never go back to because “there’s never the exception, only the rule” and am continuing in that relationship despite all of the history and probability of past experiences saying I should know better (basically, “what the f*ck am I thinking dating this person again after all of the evidence that pointed to more hurt in the future?!”)

I’ve had my heart broken and more painfully broken my own heart over and over again.

For the longest time, I thought I should keep it to myself. Listening to client’s share, my inner dialogue was always screaming, “OMG, me too!” As a therapist, I was always taught to be discrete with self-disclosure. I felt so robotic and cold in sessions though. Many of my clients appreciated the fact that I was able to relate (yet not make their sessions about me) because it helped them to feel hopeful, or at least not so alone. That’s where I found a little more freedom as a Self-love and Relationships Coach because my experience is helpful to my clients.

Anyway, welcome to my brain and my inner dialogue.

Let’s talk about relationships –

With others and ourselves.

xo Grace